This little ditty sprang from the diseased imaginings of my beloved husband. (Yes, he is just as insane as I am.)
I’ve been havin’ rum and onions;
And mate, my farts do stank.
I guess that that’s why half the crew
Wants to walk the plank.
The others told the Cap’n
That I need to be keelhauled;
Because when I farted,
Half the men went bald.
I may not have gotten that word for word. It was an impromptu thing, the source of which is best not investigated too closely. We don’t want to provoke it.